It is sad but true, that when we open ourselves up to love and be loved, we open ourselves up to the possibility of loss. It does not have to be the death of a loved one, it can simply be the grief that can accompany any circumstance where there is someone or something other than you in it.
As many of you may, or may not know, I am presently widowed, not once, but twice, in a nine-year period.
My life was tremendously blessed with loving, attentive and encouraging husbands. They were just what I needed in my life.
Larry and I dated for almost four years, and we were married for a little over 12 years. We were a “couple’s couple”, and you rarely saw one of us without the other. Sadly, Larry passed away unexpectedly from a heart attack, in October of 2005.
After Larry’s sudden death, I depended totally on God to bring me through. My world was violently shaken and turned completely upside down. Sometimes the loss hurts so deep that you feel you will never make it through!! But, you will….and you do!!!
About a year and a half after Larry’s death, I met my husband John in church. After our initial hello in church, I started running into him when I did my beach walk. We started dating and dated for about a year before we married. We were married for almost six years. John was a true blessing in my life and really would do anything for me! God allowed me to love and be loved again when it looked like I would never be able to find that kind of love again. Sadly, John passed away suddenly in May of 2014, from a heart attack.
Can I tell you that suffering the same type of loss a second time made it NO easier!!! I was again faced with such sorrow and shock! I don’t want to use the word despair….but, it’s something pretty close!
In these times, we have to trust that God, being the Sovereign, omniscient God who knows ALL things, sees what we are going through and will help us to get through the lowest seasons of our lives. I promise - He will help you if you allow yourself to be helped.
Give yourself time to grieve. The length of time this will take varies for each individual. Do not rush through it, but also, do not get stuck in it.
Spending time with God and telling Him just how you feel is in itself somewhat freeing. Granted, He already knows what you feel, and no, it won’t change your situation, but, at least you have gotten it off of your chest (maybe for the 100th time)! Spending quiet time by yourself with soft worship music can be so soothing. Yes, it may elicit feelings of sadness and tears, and no, it won’t change the situation either, but, tears come from the depths of our soul, proclaiming both sadness and joy! They cleanse, and often express what we simply can not. I guess that’s why they call it a “good” cry! So, go ahead and get your cry on…………sometimes it’s just what we need.
It is far better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all!